After Henry was born, my relationships changed. They changed with friends, family, my husband and most importantly, myself. With all of this being so new still, it’s crazy to look at how much has changed.
These last few months have been such a whirlwind. Scot and I are adjusting to our new family, getting to know our little guy, and trying to maintain a healthy relationship with each other.
Before Henry was born, I would hear how I would “hate” my husband! How everything changes and how my relationship with my husband would take a back seat. Scot and I talked about how we were not going to let that happen. We still had no idea, but we were damned if we allowed this beautiful miracle to drive a wedge between us. After all, this was OUR growing family and we wanted to soak it all in!
I wasn’t sure how I would be with Scot once Henry was born. If you remember, I had fears of resentment from the beginning. Well, within the first day, I knew that Scot was not only an incredible husband, but he was also an amazing Dad!
What happened the weeks that followed, came a bit unexpected. As we slowly adjusted to our new normal, our relationship began to change, it began to change BIG! Not only were we communicating differently but we had to come to agreements on so many new things. We had to work as a team to make sure that we were on the same page when it came to raising a small human. What I found, is that the more your relationship gets tested, the deeper your love grows!
The love I had for my husband changed. It changed in ways I didn’t know possible. My love for him grew. I had never loved him more. So much so, that I even joked that we should have never gotten married because I felt like I must not have loved him enough. I quickly learned that the love I felt on my wedding day was just a different kind of love. And that I DID love him enough, I just loved him on such a deeper level now, on a different level. Seeing him with our son made my heart skip a beat.
So this was all great, but my marriage wasn’t the only relationship that changed. My relationships with friends and family changed too. My sister and I grew closer almost instantly. There is something very different when you finally have something in common. My sister and I have always been close, but we are two different people who have very different lives. We are polar opposites and quite frankly, didn’t see eye to eye on A LOT of things. There was a distance between us. Having Henry completely helped our relationship grow. I now had something in common with her. We were both Mothers. My respect for her grew ten-fold and I finally could relate to her in ways that before, well, just weren’t possible.
I had strengthened relationships with my Aunt, my in-laws and some of my best friends. Instead of sitting around listening to everyone talk about their kids, I FINALLY could talk about mine. I felt a sense of inclusion that I didn’t always have before.
Unfortunately, not all of my relationships grew. In fact, in just these last three short months, I have seen some ugliness that I didn’t know existed in some of the people I hold closest. But that’s OK. All of these relationships have contributed to my own personal growth. The Good, the bad and the ugly. These have all been stories along this journey of mine. And with that, I’ve learned to take a step back to those who don’t support me or want the best for me and my family.
The change that has happened since having Henry has played a pretty significant role in the relationship with me. I know now, that this #MomLife can be HARD, really, really HARD! But I also know that it can be GREAT, really, really GREAT! And the good ALWAYS out ways the bad. I have learned to allow myself to have bad days and to be OK, with being just OK. I have learned that I need to put less pressure on myself and allow my healthy relationships to continue to grow and leave the toxic ones behind. But most importantly I’ve learned that not all change is good. And in this case, it hasn’t been good, its been GREAT!